The Naked Truth
by Irrepressable
Summary: Faced with the threat of an alien invasion, the Doctor must shed his clothes in order to save the day. Rated T for naked Time Lords


**The recent episode gave me the sads, but I've been planning this fic for days. I've been working hard to come up with a plot to go with this concept and, let's face it, we could all use a little cheering up after a character died. For the sake of spoilers for those of you who haven't seen it, I won't say which character kicked the bucket. Anyway, here comes The Naked Truth.**

Clara had wanted a break for some time. Specifically, she wanted a nice trip to a nice beach. Every time she brought it up to the Doctor, he said no. She'd brought it up six times. Maybe the seventh would be the charm. Well, this time, she wasn't asking so much as pinning the Doctor's favorite guitar to the floor with an axe raised over her head.

"Clara, think about what you're doing!" the Doctor pleaded, his face paler than Clara had ever seen it.

"I am thinking about what I'm doing." Clara growled.

"You've lost your mind!" the Doctor shouted accusingly

"Of course I have." Clara said with a scowl. "I don't mind running for my life, but it does get tiresome! Is it any wonder that I'm feeling a little _crazy_ right now?"

"Where did you even get that axe, anyway?" the Doctor asked

"That doesn't matter right now!" Clara shouted. "Now, take me to a nice beach or the guitar gets it!"

"Fine, fine!" The Doctor surrendered. "Just put down the axe and slowly step away from the guitar."

"Beach first." Clara negotiated.

"Fine." The Doctor huffed.

The Time Lord then went over to the console, entered some coordinates, and set the TARDIS to its task. When they arrived, the Doctor opened the door so Clara could see out at the sand and the ocean. Her demeanor changed instantly. She dropped the axe and removed her foot from the guitar. She walked over to the Doctor, stood on her tip-toes, and pecked his cheek. She then chirped "Thank you!" and headed off to her room in the TARDIS.

The Doctor gently picked up and cradled his guitar. He watched Clara's back as she pranced off. He then headed off himself to relocate his guitar to someplace safer. When he returned, Clara looked distressed. The Doctor groaned. "What is it now?" he asked.

"I can't find my swimsuit." Clara pouted

"You can buy one out there, now shoo!" the Doctor urged her out.

"Fine, but you're coming with me." Clara said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Let me think." the Doctor replied. " _No_."

"Doctor, it's beautiful out there!" Clara argued.

"I don't like beaches." the Doctor said with a scowl. "They're loud, they're crowded, and I don't like getting sand up my bum."

"You could use some sunlight." Clara said flatly.

Clara then grabbed the Doctor by his wrist and began dragging him after her. For such a small woman, Clara sure had a strong grip. The Doctor struggled, but it was futile. Eventually, he surrendered. He allowed the human to lead him away from the TARDIS and towards the sounds of people. Of course, when Clara saw them, her jaw fell open. She gaped like a fish for a second before whirling around on the Doctor. "What kind of beach did you take me to, Doctor?" Clara cried. "Half the people here are naked!"

"It's a clothing-optional beach." the Doctor said with a smirk. "You said that you wanted to go to a nice beach. You did not specify what kind of beach it had to be."

Clara glared at the Doctor with the burning intensity of a thousand suns. She was silent for a moment before stalking off to find a place where she could find and purchase a swimsuit. She would find a section of beach with clothed people on it, she decided. When she finally did find a shop that sold swimsuits, she happened to notice something white off in the distance. When she saw the facility, she recognized it immediately. It was the Van Weiss Health and Beauty Center. Maybe she would bring it up to the Doctor. Maybe he would recall the waxing incident. After he took her to a clothing-optional beach, she wanted to see him squirm. She turned her attention back to the rack of swimsuits. She eventually picked one. After paying for it, she went into the changing room to put it on. It was a fairly modest blue and white striped bikini. It was a bikini, but it wasn't too skimpy. She also bought a towel, which she slung over her shoulder, and a bag to hold her things. She then headed back over to where she last saw the Doctor. He wasn't there. It seemed that he had wandered off. She followed the footprints in the sand that she suspected were his. When she located him, he was leaning against the lifeguard's stand, sipping on some sort of 22nd century beverage. It was cyan with yellow polka dots. She didn't know how that was possible, but that's what the beverage looked like. She took a look around. The people on this section of the beach, at the very least, had swimsuits on. She laid her towel down on the ground and set her bag next to it. She then headed off to the water's edge. She stuck her toe in before slowly wading out. It was cool without being too cold, and the water was crystal clear. This really was a nice beach. She continued to wade out until her feet could no longer touch the ground. She spent the next several hours enjoying herself in the water. By the time she got out of the water, the sun was starting to go down. Off in the distance, she saw some lights. People were heading towards them. Clara swam back to shore and gathered up her things before heading off to change back into her clothes. She checked back at the lifeguard's stand. She saw that the Doctor was still there, looking utterly bored. This time, he was sipping a different drink. This one was pink and fizzy. The Time Lord looked at the human and asked, "Can we go now?"

Clara looked off at the people and saw that they were heading over to some sort of get-together. There was torchlights and several food and drink stands. She found herself a bit thirsty. "Not yet." Clara said. "They look like they're having fun over there and I plan on enjoying myself while I'm here."

The Doctor groaned loudly, but he still followed Clara. The petite human perused the various stands, but she found that she had no way to pay for anything. She looked at the Doctor. He had to have paid for the drinks somehow. "Doctor," she said, "I need something to drink. Do you mind?"

The Time Lord groaned again. Clara ignored it and selected a drink, an ordinary lemon-lime soda. The Doctor pulled out some sort of grey stick and handed it to the vendor. The vendor stuck it into a machine before pulling it out and handing it back to the Doctor. The vendor then handed Clara her drink, which she opened and sipped happily. The odd pair then headed over to the crowd. Well, Clara headed over. The Doctor sort of trudged behind. The petite brunette made her way easily through the crowd. The Doctor, on the other hand, was having a bit more trouble. He was accidentally shoved into a man, who whirled around to face it. The man then leapt back and shouted, "Whoah, watch those eyebrows, friend! You could put someone's eye out with those things!"

The Doctor laughed sarcastically before looking around to see where Clara was. He scanned the crowd, but it seemed that he had lost her. This crowd was too dense. He needed to breathe. He worked his way to the edge of the crowd before walking a fair distance away to catch his breath. When he was there, he saw a couple of men. One of them was in beach shorts and a tee shirt and the other was in cut-off short and a red short sleeved button-down shirt with white flowers printed on it. They were acting strangely blissful. Perhaps they were intoxicated. The Doctor paid them no mind and stood there for a moment before returning to the crowd to find Clara. When he located her, she was chatting with a familiar olive-skinned woman. It took him a second to place her. She was the woman who had given him a massage back when he had floppy hair and wore a bowtie. Another memory from that day filled his head, causing him to cringe. Getting a Brazilian _hurt_! At least one positive came out of it. After the hair was forcefully yanked out of his nether regions, he no longer hiccupped when someone poked him too hard in certain places. This was a good thing, since his current incarnation really didn't like guava fruit. He walked up to Clara and asked, "Are you done having fun yet?"

"No." Clara replied.

The Doctor scowled, furrowing his thick eyebrows. He wanted to get back to the TARDIS. The sooner he got back, the better. Clara smiled at him and said, "Come on, Doctor. Let's get something to eat."

"I don't want to eat beach food." The Doctor said, still frowning.

"There's a stand that sells chips." Clara pointed out. "Those aren't 'beach food'."

The Doctor kept that same scowl on his face. Clara bid the olive-skinned woman farewell before heading off to the chip stand. The Doctor, being the one with credits, followed her. He was feeling a bit peckish. That was how they both ended up sitting at a table, each with a basket of chips. The Doctor didn't complain. He glanced off and saw the two men he had encountered when he had left the crowd for a breather. The man that had made a crack about his eyebrows was with them. All three had strangely blank faces. Odd. The Time Lord returned to his basket of chips. He looked back at them a few times. Each time, someone new joined them. Every time, their faces were strangely blank. Three blank faces was one thing. This many blank faces was a pattern. It was definitely suspicious. The Doctor furrowed his brows. Clara frowned. "I know that look." she said.

"What look?" the Doctor asked.

"The look that you get when you're thinking too hard." Clara replied.

"I'm not thinking too hard." the Doctor said, never looking away from the group of people. "I'm thinking thoroughly."

"Whatever you say." Clara said with a shrug. " _I_ am going to enjoy my chips."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It was getting to be a serious pain how easily he kept getting separated from Clara. The suspicious group of people was getting bigger. He had started noticing a pattern. The people who had been naked on the beach seemed to be less affected than the people who wore clothes. The people who were affected seemed to be milling about. He decided to watch from a distance. An unaffected person walked up to them and asked for directions. Suddenly, one of the affected people, a ginger woman, lunged at the unaffected person. They held the unaffected person tightly as the unaffected man struggled. Finally, the man broke free and ran off in the Doctor's direction. The man began to slow until, finally, he stopped. He then turned around and walked back to the affected people. He was now one of them. Suddenly, the crowd of affected people simultaneously turned to face the Doctor. They all smiled. A shiver ran down the Doctor's spine. Something was seriously wrong here, the Time Lord thought as he turned and walked away. He had to find Clara.

After an extensive search, he finally located her. He also saw that there were several people with blank expressions on their faces before they too turned and smiled at him. He grabbed Clara by the arm, leaned in, and hissed into her ear, "Clara, something is seriously wrong here."

"Doctor, you're being paranoid." Clara said with a frown.

"Look at them!" The Doctor whispered. "They're all smiling at the same time! No group that large smiles that much!"

"Doctor-" Clara began

"Clara, if you trust me at all, you'll go back to the TARDIS." the Doctor said as he looked back at the people.

Clara looked at the Doctor's face and knew right away that he was as serious as can be. "Go." the Doctor insisted. "Just this once, listen to me. Just go back to the TARDIS."

Clara did something surprising. She actually did as she was told. She walked away from the group. The Doctor let out a breath that he hadn't been aware that he had been holding. Slowly, he began to back away. Before he could blink, the crowd moved as one. They surrounded him and lunged at him, holding him tightly. His head was filled with a strange warmth as his urge to think began to fade away, slowly being replaced by the knowledge that he was waiting for orders. "No!" he cried out, prying himself out of the hold of the group.

He tore through the crowd, running away from them as quickly as he could. He now knew what was wrong with those people. Someone was controlling their mind.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooo

When he returned to the TARDIS, he immediately began to run scans on himself. He discovered that there was something trapped in his clothes, something trapped between his clothes and his skin that he still felt trying to sap his will away. A detailed scan showed that the substance was many, many nanites. His extremely clever brain quickly made the connection. The reason the naked people were less affected was because they had no clothes to trap the nanites that were facilitating the mind control. There was only one thing he could do. Immediately, he began to strip. He was fully naked when Clara walked into the console room. She let out a gasp, her eyes widening dramatically. "Doctor, you're naked!" she gasped.

"Yes, I'm aware of that, Clara." the Doctor said flatly.

Clara tried to cover her eyes and said, "But... you're naked!"

"And your point is?" the Doctor questioned

"You're naked!" Clara cried

The Doctor rolled his eyes and said, "Oh, calm down. You've seen it before."

"Yes, but it was smaller back then!" Clara blurted out. She immediately put her hands over her mouth, mortified. "Oh god, did I just say that?"

The Doctor did not comment, though his ego did puff up a bit at the fact that he was indeed larger than Bowtie had been. Of course, that didn't matter right now. "Clara, the people out there are under the influence of mind control." the Doctor began to explain. "The substance nanites that facilitate the mind control work when they're trapped between the clothes and the skin. If you value keeping your own mind, Clara, you should take your clothes off right away."

"I am _not_ taking my clothes off, Doctor!" Clara shouted at the Time Lord

"Fine," the Doctor said, "But if I find you with your mind under someone else's control, you can expect an 'I told you so'."

"Are you going to put some new clothes on?" Clara asked.

"No." the Doctor replied. "This mind control is a sign of something much, much worse. Someone wants to control a large number of people, and the amount under their control is growing larger as we speak. The only way to be safe is to be naked."

Looking anywhere but at the nude Doctor, Clara asked, "So what are we going to do?"

" _You_ are going to stay here." the Doctor instructed. " _I'm_ going to track the signal to find out where the mind control is coming from."

Before Clara could say anything, the Doctor left. A few minutes later, he returned wearing a fanny pack and holding some sort of gadget. Literally, the only things he had on were the fanny pack and his sonic shades. "Stay here." the Doctor instructed firmly before he opened the door of the TARDIS and left.

Clara Oswald, of course, did not listen.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The Doctor began to track the signal. As he followed it, he saw that the affected people were moving in the same direction. Quietly, he followed from a distance. When one of them turned to look in his direction, the Doctor ducked behind a chair. They didn't see him, but the Time Lord did get sand up his bum. That was fairly terrible.

The Doctor followed them for quite a while before they disappeared into the jungle at the edge of the beach. He paused for the briefest moment before continuing after them. When he saw a large space ship, it came as no surprise to him. Alien mind control. That was a bit of a cliche. Still, there had to be a sinister reason as to why someone would want a couple hundred mind-controlled humans. The Doctor watched the ship open up and the mind-controlled humans walked in. Quickly but stealthily, he dashed over to the ship and slipped in behind them. They weren't his priority. He had to find out just what was controlling them and why. With that thought in mind, he held up the gadget that he had brought with him. Once the group was out of sight, the Doctor activated the gadget. The red light on the gadged pulsed steadily. He began his search. As he got closer, the light pulsed faster. He had to be very close. Suddenly, he felt someone tackle him from behind. He landed on his front and tried to roll over, prying whoever it was off of him. When he rolled over, he saw who had tackled him.

It was Clara. She had the same blank expression on her face that the other affected people did. The Doctor glanced at the human female's clothes. There was only one way to help remove the mind control, but she would probably kill him for it once she had her mind back. There was no choice. It had to be done. The Doctor lunged at Clara. Holding her down with one arm, he quickly undressed her with the other. She struggled fiercely as he did this. Slowly, she stopped struggling as she closed her eyes. Suddenly, her eyes shot open and she started struggling again, only instead of being empty, her eyes were filled with anger. "What the _hell_ , Doctor?" she snapped. "Get _off of me_!"

The Doctor quickly let go of her and stood up. The human scrambled to her feet, her fists balled tightly and her chest heaving as she glared at him. If looks could kill, he probably would have regenerated on the spot. Clara suddenly seemed to realize that she was, in fact, naked. She shrieked and attempted to cover herself up. "Why am I-" Clara began to shriek, but the Doctor quickly covered her mouth.

"Quiet!" He hissed softly.

Clara swallowed audibly and pushed the Doctor's hand away from her. "Doctor, why the hell am I naked?" the petite brunette asked.

"It was the only way to get the nanites off of you." the Doctor replied.

"Oh." Clara said. "I don't suppose I can put my clothes back on, can I?"

"No." the Doctor said. "Your clothes are saturated with nanites. If you put them back on, you'll risk mind control."

Clara frowned. Since discovering that she was naked, she had turned as red as a tomato. Well, she was already fairly red after forgetting sunscreen. The next few days would not be fun for her skin. The Doctor looked at the pulsing light again before saying, "Come on. We're close to the controls."

Then they were off again. The Doctor followed the pulsing light until he arrived at a console with a large screen. He slipped his gadget into his fanny pack. His fingers then flew over the console as he worked his magic. His eyes narrowed when he saw something specific. He paused to type something in and then pressed a button. He then typed something else in and pressed the button again. He then brought a map of the ship up on the screen. The Doctor quickly memorized it before moving on. As he and Clara made their way through the ship, they heard a crowd coming towards them. The Doctor grabbed his companion and pulled her out of the way. The people that were under mind control were heading back in the direction of the ship's exit. Once the people had passed, the Doctor resumed heading in the direction of the room he was seeking. Before long, he had reached the door. He pressed a button next to the door. When the button was pressed, the door slid open. The Doctor then walked in, with Clara right at his heels. There was shouting going on inside. When Clara saw what it was, she gasped. Sitting in front of a large screen, throwing a temper tantrum, was a purple-skinned boy who couldn't have been older than twelve. "Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding me." Clara groaned.

The boy immediately stood up and spun around. "Who interrupts the mighty Dorph?" he boomed.

He wasn't scaring anyone. Clara and the Doctor just watched him, neither of them impressed. "Mind control spread by hugging." the Doctor commented.

"Who are you?" Dorph barked. "Why are you on my ship? What have you done with my troops? And why are you naked?"

"I'm the Doctor and this is Clara Oswald." the Doctor said. In his infinate snark, he continued, "The party looked like fun, so we decided to join. I'm afraid they're no longer under your control."

"You naked fools!" Dorph roared, "You've ruined my plans!"

"His plans, he says." the Doctor said dryly. "Did you hear that, Clara? The spoiled child is throwing a tantrum because I spoiled his _plans_. Maybe we should put him in a time-out."

Dorph stuck his nose up at them and said, "I could press this button and the security systems would shoot you to pieces. _You can't make me_."

"No," the Doctor said, "I can't."

A beam of light appeared out of nowhere. When the light faded, a purple-skinned woman stood there. The Doctor poked his thumb in the direction of the woman. "She can."

Dorph turned several shades paler. "Mum?" he blurted.

"Dorpholdink Vlorg!" Dorph's mother barked, taking a step towards her son.

Dorph flinched. He tried to defend himself. "Mummy, it's all Dad's fault. He wouldn't let me have my own planet for my birthday!"

"Dorph, you're not responsible enough to have your own planet and this is the third time you've tried to invade someone else's!" Dorph's mother berated her son. "You apologize to these people this instant!"

Dorph scowled at his feet before grumbling something under his breath. Dorph's mother placed her hands on her hips and said, "Speak up. They didn't hear you."

"I'm sorry." Dorph spat.

"Now, we're going home right now and you, young man, are going to be grounded for a very, _very_ long time!" Dorph's mother said angrily.

The entire area filled with light. In an instant, she ship was gone, leaving Clara and the Doctor standing naked in the jungle. Clara turned to look at the Time Lord and asked, "Can we just go back to the TARDIS now?"

The Doctor in a half-amused tone said, "I thought you'd never ask."

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Clara walked back into the console room. She had put on a new set of clothes since her old outfit had been transported away with the ship. The Doctor had put on his old clothes since the nanites had been rendered useless and had fallen out of his clothes. Clara gave the Doctor a long, hard look as she turned something over in her mind. "Docter?" she called out.

"What?" the Doctor asked.

"Just one thing confuses me."

"What's that?" the Doctor inquired.

"If you had to be naked, why didn't you just do that holographic clothes trick?" Clara asked

The Doctor's face went blank. There was a long, long pause before the Doctor said, "Oh."

"So there's no reason that I had to see your skinny, naked bum?" Clara questioned. "It just hadn't occurred to you?"

"Quit complaining about having to see _my_ bum." The Doctor said with a scowl. "You didn't get sand up _yours_."


End file.
